"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
