I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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