life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
