Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
