Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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