U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
