i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
