oh god the rape fog is back!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
