I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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