seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
