I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
