But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
