does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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