i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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