so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
