i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
