There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
