Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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