yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
