Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
