just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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