love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
