Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
