now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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