I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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