Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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