I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
