no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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