I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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