I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
