If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
