Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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