my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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