i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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