shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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