A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
