You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
