i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
