I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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