I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
