What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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