help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
