is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
