8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
too bad you live with your parents still
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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