why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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