I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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