I must be too annoying 4 u.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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