Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
