eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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