It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
