i think my tv is drunk
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
