Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
