Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
