weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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