Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
not ubering you a puppy
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
