In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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