i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
