Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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