We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I will be naked everywhere
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
