one two three fourrrrnication!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
