I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
