Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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