I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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