You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
