I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
