just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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