i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
