I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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