I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
