3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
