why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
