Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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