You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
